
in an hour's time, it gonna be 2006.
and i'm not ready for new year. i'm certainly NOT ready. i don't want to leave 2005 and i don't want to enter 2006 either. i'm just NOT ready.
that's only half of me.
but another half of me wants to leave the past. the sweet and unsweet memories of 2005. all those pains and shatterings and fights and misunderstandings and cries etcetra.
i can't believe the year's gone that fast. pejam celik pejam celik jer dah 2006 sey. thinking back, i'd actually love 2005, putting aside all those heart-breaking teary tales. it was so much fun rather than what i had expected.
and now, it's time for some changes.
i've got to change. i'm sorry, but i can't be the old me anymore back again.
i wanna start a new life all over again. i wanna forget him. i wanna move on with my life. i wanna concentrate on my studies, and not much on BGRs. i think i've got enough of all these BGRs.
but even if i'm gonna be in one, i won't going to take it so seriously, like before. yes, i mean i do take the relationship seriously but not as seriously as before. i just don't want things to happen again. it was really bad for me and my future. i don't want to repeat history.
it was pathetic. really.
friends and loved ones wishing me a Happy New Year but i don't wish them as se-ikhlasnya. what for? it's not like i'm celebrating it especially since i've said i'm certainly NOT ready yet for the new years'.
having Helmy, an anonymous (it's the advisor, remember?), Abdillah and many many of my loved ones helping to ease the problems that i'm facing right now.
and the problem is about him. again.
it's just that i can't forget him. fine, i can forget him but it'll take time, doesn't it? right?
oh, thank you so much guys for helping me and making me sedar from my fairytale world. thank you. =)
okay. so i guess i'm a lil' ready for new years' now. just a lil'. and i really want to move on with my life. bit by bit. hopefully.
and i will try.
hanisyra
April 12 1992
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