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Saturday, January 14, 2006  

Saturday 14 January 2006

my muscles' limbs are arching when i woke up this morning.
and shitness, you know what, Mom had signed me up this reading-the-holy-Quran course.
urghhhh. she knew i'm always busy and yet she could still sign me up, lagi2 without telling me first!!!!

it's bcoz that my madrasah has now have this Tafsir and Tajwid subjects, and it has been two years that i have not been reading the holy Quran.

i've got no say for this.


i know i'm a very fickle-minded person, but i've think carefully and seriously. i'm after Asyiq, and NOT Zharif, and never would be Faizal either. and i must be sincere. especially since i've promised 'some stuffs' to Asyiq.

and it was making sure our dreams will turn into reality. how's that? hahaha.


i'm really, really prostrated now.

although my muscles limbs are arching badly, i would never consider shopping as an adversity.

so, i (and Mom and my one of my favourite aunts) went to Bugis Junction, Bugis Street, Citylink Mall and Raffles City for some window-shoopings.

actually, i wanted to get a new tote bag for school (since the tote bag that i'm currently using for school is such a bitch and it hurts my shoulders ALOT due to the contents inside. hurhur.).

i want the Fila or the Puma or the Nike tote bag.

it was just a waste of time going for all those window-shoppings without buying anything useful at the end of the day. oh fuck.

nevermind. i'll find time to go City Square some day. with the family. and i really miss the Sushi there. marvelous.


oh yes, Faizal SMS-ed me just now out of the blue. wow. it was such a long time he has not been contacting me anymore. i thought he had already forgotten me and dating with a new girl right now. wells, he isn't. see, always look on the brightside. lol. (or maybe it was just a lie, again! who knows. alah, i don't really care about him anymore since i'm having a crush on Asyiq. haha.)

but i've got no idea what was his intention of SMS-ing me once in the blue moon this evening. and every time he SMS-es me, it always shatters me in the end. fuck, isn't it? oh, c'mon idiot, be strong babeh!

so, there it goes again. the sweetened words and those apologies. fuck uh. then he mentioned to me that someone had told him that my friends and me are stepping 'kakak2' in school.

and i'm really fuck up about it.

i seriously TAKDA step kakak2 uh kat sini beb. salah orang kot. alermak.

anyways, there's this budak sec 1 uh tt time i went to library and met Zharif, this boy came up to me and said "sorry uh kak tadi my kawan terkurang ajar siket". he called me "kak" and i scolded him for good. serious sey, i venom having kids who are one or two years younger than me calling me "kakak". kalo 'sis' tak kesah sangat uh. 'bro' lagik tak kesah. haha. (the way haikal and me always use when we're chatting. bro-sis. lol.)

so far, satu budak sec 1 pun i have never call them, 'adik' sak. yes, my friends do. tapi tu dorang nye pasal uh. ni hal takde kene mengene dgn aku sak. so jgn babitkan aku uh. custard sial pompan sial ni.

and this pompan sial who told Faizal about this stuff sendri sound budak sec 1 adik angkat die sume. aiyooooh. cerminlah diri tu sendri sebelum mengata orang. alermak. ni pompan memang nak kene sak dari aku.

nevermind. monday i'll gonna confront her. annoying bitchy idiotic monkey. haiyahhhh.


and i told Faizal something too. should not be known for it's personal. hurhur.

and he too, was fuck up. he was like swearing and stuffs. haha.

he tried to sakitkan my hati per. ah, ambik kau. hahaha.

but all those infos were true. honestly.

he then called me and we talked for about 45 minutes, i think. we just talked about our lives right now and nothing much. and i even apologized to him for staring at him atas-bawah last monday. so yeah, everything's okay and going my way. hmm. wonderful.


but there's just another issue here which is very unpleasant for me.


and it's about FRIENDSHIP.

i don't understand why the fucking hell my bestfriends have to be in this game of jealousy with me. i didn't do anything and why must they be doing all these stupid crappy stuffs to me???!?! just WHYYYYY????!?!?!?

i guess their names shall not be revealed. but it's okay for SHANIFAZYAN to know. i don't mind. but not for other readers whose reading all my entries all this while. it'll be dangerous babeh! haha.


so okay, this A got to know about my history. this B told this A that i was once attached to Zharif and this A is jealous. therefore, she's not hanging out with us anymore coz she finds it horrible (i think) to be friends with someone like me. heh. whatever lah dey. tapi skrg ni this A is having problems with ME. not with the rest. so i just hope that this A takkan babitkan the rest.
hopefully. haishhh.

that's one.


secondly, i've just realized that this C that i've been always share my secrets and stuffs, is backstabbing me. fuck, aight? i only realized this when we were having girls' talk on guys. she lied something really lame to me. it's so obvious. duhhhh!

and it happens all the time whenever we come to the Cute Boys, Hot Guys topic. this C is trying to be like a bitch man. she tried to make me jealous, which never will work for me lah. i don't care. i have Asyiq in my mind now. right right?

and this C was the one who told me a story about Faizal which i've told Faizal just now. and it was actually not true. ah, whatever lah deyyyy. as long as you're happy, then it'll be fine with me. =))

coz i don't give a shit about it. haha.


afterall, i love my darling Shaqilah. she's the best for now. `` i love you, girl! muacks. hurhur.

and yes yes, dearie Asyiq too. <333
love and hatred.
ends here.


 

a lie i didn't have to tell 9:50 PM

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