Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Thursday, February 02, 2006  

Thursday 2 February 2006

this entry gonna be a VERY long entry. you just gonna get bored reading it anyways. its all up to you; to read or not to read.


first and foremost, i'm really sorry for not updating this darn blog for about three weeks i think. wells, my schedule are kinda 'packed' lately. i've got so many stuffs going on after schools and on the weekends.


so yes, continuing about the 'Step Kakak' thingy.

the following Monday i confronted Zulaikha in the morning before school. just as i stepped into the central square, i saw her and called her up. and man, she took such a bloody five minutes to get her ass off the ground. what, takut per girl?? aiyoh. then she walked up to me with that takut-takut + innocent face. i went straight to the point but she interrupted my speech, saying all those maaf-maafan words. what the hellll? nak act baik plak skrg ni? tsk tsk. i just blurted everything out. i didn't care a bit about how she gonna feel etcetra and i could feel some eyes on us. who cares? i'm just NOT satisfied with her.

she made some stupid fairytales. she thought i don't know the whole lot of truth eh? puh-lease. she said it was Ain who said all this craps. what the fuck! i trust Ain more than i trust her lah deyyy. orang dah salah, mesti uh. ishk ishk. inilah die... anak anak zaman skrg.
then, i walked up to her during recess in the canteen. secara kebetulan, the bloody fucker was there too. he came up to us, acting mane nyer besar tah nak step abang2 tolong solve kan problem. problem kite mase dulu tak bole solve sampaikan sanggup tinggalkan aku, beh problem mcm gini nak sebok2 masok campur. gie mati lah sial. pastu tak pasal2 he pulled my blouse. what the fuck he think he is huh! eh, mak bpk aku tak pena uh nak sentuh aku beh skrg die sedap2 jer nak tarik2 org ni apehal lah sial. that's one.
i was really pissed off. i walked to the ladies and locked myself in the cubicle of a few seconds, trying to calm myself down. tak terima sial ape die buat kat aku. and i went out. sheesh.
the 'line' was clear, i thought at least. i thought the bloody fucker was nowhere to be seen anymore. i thought he had rotted up in the hell or something. so i went up to Zulaikha and try to settle everything all over again. and tak pasal2 pulak si sial ni menjelma balik. ni lagi teruk than before. instead of pulling my blouse, he pushed me to a wall, right in FRONT of the crowd who gathered there. paler buto lah sial. he spoke a few words to me. die pikir die sape sak nak ckp aku mcm tu. pikir die tu bagus sgt per. eh gie mati lah. i just ignored him and continued with the problem.
dah malu and takut nye pasal, the pompan at last admit die salah and apologized. waduh. why must you make things worsen man? kalo ko dah buat salah admit jer lah. ni still tak nak admit sak tapi mintak maaf jer. puki dah kecut per hah? ki mak uh.
so, dah tutup buku.


later that afternoon on Monday, i went to meet up with Asyiq, accompanied with two of my good friends and a few acquaintances at the library. so yeah, i was kinda having a great time with Asyiq. and he's such a gentleman. he walked me home. so sweet lah. haha. but still, there's something which i find him NOT being a gentleman; ehem. lol.
and by the way, i was really sorry that i was overreact-ing. just that... wells, i missed all those stuffs. i don't know lah.


that night, i found myself missing him. i don't know.


the next day we met again. shall not go further in details. =X


and yes yes yes, 21st January!!!! the RCY Talentime 2006!

ooooohkay.

first thing first, i would like to apologise a thousand lots of apolgies to anybody who i was being pissed off at. i'm so sorry darlings. i was really being rude, impolite, harsh etcetra to you guys. i yelled at my seniors. i kicked a fuss over something small. stupid, isn't it? sigh.
that's why, menses suck. just suck. ALOT.
so yeah, it was lovely to meet Asyiq in the morning at 9am under my block (i wonder how he could wake up so early...) and spent an hour or so with him. met the rest etcetra. and by 11, Asyiq had to go off for some Polytechnics' open house. missed him then.
there was something that bothers me till now. this stranger that looked at me in a very strange way and chatted with me for a couple of minutes on the MRT. he asked me some stupid questions that had got to do with my family. strange aight? before i alight, he said he's a cousin to my mother. what the fuck?! oh wells, i don't know anything then.
the Talentime was held at the Nanyang JC anyways.
i must say, there's alot of Minah-ish and Punk-sai girls. i was like, eewww OH MY GOD! but so far, everything was kinda okay.
we could feel the butterflies in our stomachs when it was our turn to perform. and it was totally suck i think. haiyah. lack of practice mahs.
i got to kenal-kenal with this sweet girl from Northbrooks (sp?). at first she looked like a minah and kerek. but after she spoke to me, i find her really sweet and friendly. and the funny thing was that she asked me, "Are you a Malay?" fuck uh. of coz i am! aiyoyo. blind uh??
and see, don't judge book by its cover. =)
okayys. so we won nothing in the end after all those fucking practices and tenses. sighh.


and guess what?!

i'm attached to Asyiq on 220106.
i will try to forget my history and love u with all my heart. =)
`i'm trying to move on with my life.
i'm sorry that i broke our promises.
i never meant to do so.
but you prefer Hidayu to me.
there's no chance awaiting you.


anyways, i'm the Vice-Captain for Lower Sec for Aquila, and i'm kinda proud of it. heeee. =)

and i WAS in for the Footdrill Competition.

speaking of it, i went for only two trainings. two trainings aje dah tak leh angkat lagi pastu rase mcm nak quit jer. the training was actually okay just the fact the i CAN'T march. shitness. it was tiring and i would got back home only after 8pm.

tired and sleepy, i still had got to deal with my daily assignments and revisions. plus the phone calls at nights which would last for about two to three hours. i didn't get much rest and my academic was getting bad to worse. i didn't study for my tests (and i failed two damn bloody subjects which i actually loathe).

and coz of this bloody trainings, i was sick. hmph. fever and colds and sore throat and muscle cramps and pains.

and fortunately, Sir asked me fall out from the Footdrill Competition. i was really glad yet disappointed too. but i AM glad that i no longer need to stay under the hot, scorching sun. =)

my life's terrible at the moment.
i would be happy-happy like a crazy monkey at one moment, but later, i would cry and cry like a crybaby. coz i'm hurt.

i'm hurt coz of YOU.


`shut up asshole. i just don't understand why you still want to shatter my heart when i don't shatter yours. i never do anything wrong to you. you are the one. ain't me. can you please stop shattering me? please?

sighh.


fuck off.


 

a lie i didn't have to tell 7:19 PM

|

Comments: Post a Comment