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Friday, March 10, 2006  

Friday 10 March 2006

what can be more than sorry?


i don't know what's really up with me. i seemed not to be myself anymore nowadays. i'm just like a lil' hypocrite next-door. like a copyrighter who doesn't have its own originality. like a fucking bitch who doesn't solicitude other people's feelings.


i know, i'm a fucking bitch.
thank-youuuu.


say, yesterday.
i didn't realise my mistakes not until Shaqilah told me about how Zharif felt after what i did to him all this while. i felt really sorry that i cried during MT class (FYI; Shaqilah's MT lesson was combined with mine). i got up, walked up to Sparkx and asked for his cellphone. i really needed to call Zharif on that spot. i really needed to apologise to him.

and so, Zharif agreed to turun to 123 to meet us since he didn't attend school yesterday. instead of feeling more sorr-ier to see him, i sparred with him. my girlfriends joined along too. we bashed him like crazy. haha. know why?

coz it's his birthday TODAY!so he's gotten an early birthday bash. gee!~

see, how mean i am.
in fact, not only mean but like-a-guy aight. Gosh...!


and today...

Shamsiah and Shaqilah had planned to skip RC this afternoon, and so i agreed to join them along. we stayed at 137 till it was almost 3pm, planning where to go; City Hall or Bugis.

it was almost 3pm when we saw two of our ICs walked up to us out of the blue. i thought it was just nothing and she didn't seem angry. but i was wrong. she was practically yelling at us and i was eventually had a stick of lighted cigarette in between my index and middle fingers. she told us off to go back to school and we were given only five minutes to change into PT and to go to 2M5 (my class)'s classroom.

everyone was there; the Sec 2 cadets, Sec 3 cadets, Sec 4 cadets and the seniors. we were told to make a fool out of ourselves in front of the classroom. she shouted at us, fucking every words from her heart. i accepted every word that she said. but not the other senior.

i just couldn't accept whatever that bloody senior said. who the hell does she think she is to say out MY PROBLEMS right in front of all those cadets?!?!!! i just hate the fact that she always acts like a big motherfucker. hmph!

i was almost brought to the DM for the smoking thingy but i was lucky with the help of my dear senior(s). thanks hor. *winks*
was given another last chance. if not, i'll be sent to DM. goddamnshit.


i don't know what's next.
i don't know whether i'm going to change for good or bad.
but whatever she said just now, it doesn't seem to go into my head.
it just seemed to go into my right, and out from my left.
what the fuck is wrong with me?!
I JUST DON'T KNOW.


 

a lie i didn't have to tell 9:16 PM

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