Afiqah, Izzati and me were chosen to attend this lanch of Kelab Obor this morning from 8am to 11am which was held at Bedok View Secondary School. the launch was actually nothing. not that really important i guess. it just seemed so formal and prosaic.

here's some pictures that we took... (and err, most of pictures taken had orbs on it. i don't know why but i've edited the pictures so the orbs couldn't be seen. =))

Izzati. Afiqah. Suraya Hani.

the teachers that had accompanied us all along; Cikgu Nuri and Cikgu Mus.

the reporters wannabes. LOL.

the members of Kelab Obor. =))

and after the launch had ended, the three of us went separate ways; Afiqah meeting her boyfriend, Izzati meeting Warda and me, meeting Zazal.

i totally have no idea how the fuck i finally ended up going out with Zazal. dear, if u read this, i'm so sorry that i went out with a guy that i used to love without your permission. i'm deadly sorry dear. i really am. it's all up to you if you gonna hate me forever. but, maybe you don't know this, but.. i still love you dear.

i waited for a bloody 30 minutes at City Hall Station for him. i don't understand why he took such a long time to reach City Hall. then, we were supposed to meet at the last cabin platform. he waited for me at the first cabin platform. he called me and i told him i would go over to the first cabin platform. he told not to but i insisted. at last, he went over to the last cabin platform and i went over to the first cabin platform and we didn't manage to bump into each other along the way. so, i went back to the last cabin platform and he went back to the first cabin platform. he called me and asked me to go up and meet him there. what the hell! complicated huh?

the first few minutes was awkward. we didn't know exactly what to say. he asked me questions mostly regarding about my life after he stepped out from my life. he was inquisitive about mine, and so was i but it just seemed really hard for us to ask questions. i could feel that.

Shaqilah insisted to hear our conversation through my headset which i had to hang it around my neck, looking like a stupid idiotic moron. funny thing.

we walked through the aisles in Marina Square and went crazy when we stepped into Kiddy Palace. bored with Marina Square, we went out to walk at Millenia Walk after i received an SMS from dear Shaqilah (she gave me an idea where to sit around so that we could have some talk among ourselves but i couldn't seem to notice the place that she described. too bad.)

we went into Harvey Norman. we acted like a stupid couple who gonna get married soon. this part was a bit funny at first. we acted like as if we wanted to buy the bed and the furnitures for our so-called new home. LOL.

we got a bit sesat there. we kept walking and out of the blue, we realized that we were heading towards Suntec City Convention Hall. i was like thinking, what the hell are we going to do there? LOL. but i just kept the comment to myself and continued walking and into the Convention Hall.

down the escalator, we saw men and women in black suits while US, in MARSILING SEC UNIFORMS. LOL LOL! the place seemed like we're in the MIIB 3. LOL.

i asked him to act like nothing happen and that we're not lost. so we kept walking and there, we're in Suntec City don't-know-what-the-hell. lol. the atmosphere was getting stodgy between us. he was getting a lil' restless as he was kinda late for his soccer match which gonna start at 4pm (which was about 45 minutes before 4pm). he decided that we shall leave for Woodlands. i agreed to.

along the way out, i noticed the Directory Board and went over to check out if there's any ToyRus store. that store is our all-time-favourite and he was actually desperate to look around for Elmo. he's so in love with Elmo since the first time we went to the mall last year. voila, i was jumping up and down like a crazy lil kiddo to found out that Suntec actually have a ToyRus store!

i walked so fast that i left him behind. i think he must have thought i was really a crazy kiddo. LOL.

when we stepped into the store, i was really being hyperactive and hyperexcited. i couldn't bide to see the new collection of Barbie they had. i ran up the aisle like a stupid irratating kiddo just to see those new collection of Barbie, leaving him behind again (and he had to look for me. it was like as if we were playing Hide-and-Seek with each other or he's being my Papa. LOL.).
and duh, he was, again, desperate for his ELMO!!!

but too bad, there wasn't a single Elmo or any Sesame Street's plushy toys. that store wasn't really a great one and so, we left the building.

it was my idea to take bus home. so, we had to pioneer for the bus stop but i had forgotten which one was it. ended up, we had to walk around and around Marina Square and Millenia Walk etc. we were totally lost but i didn't go panicking as.... nvm.

and finally, intuitive Zazal found the way to the bus stop (padahal he never came or hang around there before. unlike like me. heee.). so, thanks to Zazal... who saved the day!!!! *claps + PPG theme song* LOL!

in the bus, Zazal seemed alot more restless than before and his cellphone keeps beeping etc. his pestiferous friends were being like such a bitch. sigh. and the journey took an hour. bloody hell.

upon reaching North, i, out of the blue, cried in .......

first reason: i felt so sad that we gonna be separated and had to act like strangers, worst; enemies, when we're in school or when we have our friends around us.

second reason: the happy day gonna end soon. no more laughter of him (erm, of us).

third reason: there won't going to be any chance for us to meet up like this and have fun etc.

fourth reason: i gonna miss him.

fifth reason: i'll have to get back to my life. my LONELY life without him. (but i know, Asyiq is still here with me)

sixth reason: i won't going to have my Doctor Zazal around me when i'm unwell.

seventh reason: life's gonna get harder without him by my side.

eighth reason: i'll be betrayed by him again.

ninth reason: i hate the fact that we're nothing anymore.

tenth reason: when my "... " attacked me out of sudden that it really hurt me so much.

he did sent me home. but halfway thru only. i didn't do my usual routine; the Combo Kiss (our so-called I-LOVE-YOU code). i used to do that when we were still together last time. but not anymore, of course you idiot. are u crazy?! i now belonged to someone else!

i quickly uploaded the MP3 songs from Cine's MP3 player so that i'll be able to pass it to Izzati later in the evening. just a few minutes i got home, i had to go out again to Izzati's to meet her and pass the MP3 player to her. i followed her to 888. i had two earphones stucked in my ear with the emo songs blaring out into my ear drums. i barely could hear anything except for the music, and i almost got hit by a cab in front of us. luckily, the cab pulled up just in time and thanks to Izzati for shouting my name. phew~ i was actually still thinking about him and how much i already missed him. God knows everything. sigh. i wish i could have him back in my life. i wish i wish.

once i reached home again, i cried and wailed for two hours. i just missed him so much. i missed us being together. i missed everything about us. i'm just afraid that there won't gonna be a chance for us to be back again like before. =(((

things won't going to get any better without Azie being there for me. thanks alot Azie. i love you dear! smuackies!

i can only think about him and nothing else.
God, can someone please help me to erase him outta my mind?

BIG ENORMOUS GIGANTIC MISTAKE! i shouldn't have gone out with him today actually. if not, things won't going to get worst like this.

and now, my boyfriend gonna think i betray him. oh please darling, believe me, i still love you darling. i hope you're not going to be disappointed when you read this entry. i'm really sorry. i'll do anything just for you darling. i love you, Asyiq. muacks.

i suck BIG time.