i guess i've made up my mind.

i agree with what Musa had suggested. yeah, about that transferring to St. Margaret. afterall, it's a good school, isn't it? plus, St. Margaret does offer RCY as one of their CCAs and they are particularly good at it. unlike like other UGs such as NPCC etc. so, let's say if i'm going to be transferred there, i can just continue with RCY right? wow, great!

wells, this idea just shot me in the morning when i was in the bus to school. i thought to myself, the school that i'm currently in isn't really a good school. it's a school where they call the "Mats-and-Minahs" school. just look at the tradition and whatsoever. the students don't seem to have their own personality and perspective of thinking.

say, when i'm old enough to find work and have to go for interviews, i'm sure the Manager (or whoever that would interview you) would ask, "What school were you from when you were in secondary school?"

and i'd say, "********* Secondary School, Sir,"

"Pardon? but i have never heard of that school before. blah blah blah..."

see, it's just gonna bring shame to you right? plus, the school isn't exactly a well-known school and it doesn't have any 'high standard' or anything in any prospect. especially about this particular stuff; my school that i'm currently in doesn't offer English Literature as one of their humanities subject! it's not fair!

there's just gonna be lots to say (negative parts) about this school that i'm currently studying. sighhh, i wish i'm able to talk this out to Dad and see what his decision is.

nanti, tak fasal-fasal pula, saya terpaksalah masuk Riverside. ha-ha.

oh and yes, to add on to the reasons, i just couldn't acquiesce the fact that i'd need to see these bloody monkeys and idiots. hmph.

the teachers and friends. =X

i just couldn't get any far if i continue to stay in this pathetic school. really. i'm not able to hold any responsibility or leadership or a role just because of someone. she had ruined my life, i guess. since Sec One okay! she thought i'm a bad girl like those on the streets. she judged me by the first impression. everything that i did are always wrong in her eyes. what's the matter with her? God, i'm trying to get my life now okay. i'm proving to her that i'm not exactly the type of person that she thinks i am. but whenever i tried to, she keeps pointing out my mistakes. she always proves me wrong. oh c'mon, nobody's perfect right? sigh.

when i was in Primary School, i always had the chance to be a role model and hold a responsibility like Chairperson in different categories etcetra. but look at me when i'm in Secondary School. i don't hold any responsibilities and i haven't got to the chance to be a role model. why? coz of HER.

i feel so fuck up. see, my life just won't going to get anywhere further, right?

heh. pathetic.

i managed to have a trial and a few chances for High Jump. i didn't do quite well. i wasn't ready yet and i don't have anyone to support me. anyone special, i mean. you see, last year i had Zazal there to encourage and support me but not anymore. not anymore since he stepped out from my life.

i was trying hope on Asyiq now. but.... sigh...

i feel so fuck up with him right now. don't ask me why.

so anyways, there was once that i did a wrong method for High Jump. the pole hit me right in the ribs and it caused so much pain, and my arms are quite painful as i had hit it with the pole accidentally. then, the "thing" attacked me again but i managed to sort-of fight it away. God knows how it feels like.

so anyways, the hospital had rang yesterday to remind me about this Thursday's appointment at NUH. i won't going to attend to school for two days; Thursday and Friday. but i don't know if i'll be able to attend Farewell Party on Friday's evening. i wish i'll be able to. sighh.

i'm currently going nuts about guys. i don't know why but i've changed a lil' (maybe alot) since i was being abandoned by my own boyfriend.