White lies.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thursday 11 May 2006

things are getting back to normal. kinda solved but not with Faizal. i don't care about the Promise anymore. let's just break it. he doesn't even seem to bother. so why should i bother, right? might as well get it off.

i don't know. life's seem kinda prosaic now. i've got nothing much to do. exams are finally over. just yesterday. now, i can kinda party and enjoy, but not to the max, as you know, the Big Monster that i really detest would burst out again. i can't bear it anymore.

i'm seeing the councillor now. going through some stupid counselling. am i that bad?

no. i've changed. i've totally changed now. see me for yourself. see my inner strength; not the external beauty.

i couldn't believe it. my own ex-boyfriend and my own damn bestfriend are betraying me. fuck. i don't know how to say it out but i found out that both of them went to a friend's house together. i ponder what they were doing there. maybe they're fucking around with each other. oh, God knows everything. i just have to relax.

and i need a boyfriend now. i bloodily need a boyfriend. urgently. life's prosaic, that's why!

afterall i must move on with my life. there's no point of me waiting for a pathetic guy like him. he's just fucking around with my feelings. i just realized that. how stupid i was to be so faithful to him. fuck. how long must i wait, right?

i think i should listen to what my aunts said last week when we had a small family gathering.

Aunt Betty said, "cari laki banyak-banyak so that you have the experience. jangan jadi bodoh pada satu laki aje. mesti kene pandai mainkan laki. jangan sampai laki mainkan kita. you must go around and try each and every guy that you would like to have as a boyfriend. you're still young. you should cherish your teenage life. don't ruin it over a guy... etc etc"

really, my aunts rock my underwear! haha. they're cool man! LOL!

i think i'll just keep to my promise to Faizal but on the other hand, i may not be that faithful anymore. what for? he's not being faithful to me either. it isn't fair, right?

in the mean time, i'll go around and seek for cute and handsome guys with a macho body and gigantic dicks. wish me luck! LOL.

okay, i think i'm boasting here. LOL. my Cerpen was being published in the BH (ruangan Obor) last Monday on 8 May 2006. take a look!

thanks for the comment people! they said it's a touching story. haha.

drop a comment yeah?

hmm. i think this had been my third time my workpiece being published in the newspaper. LOL. *boast*

i'm seeing the neurologist this afternoon. my second appointment. wish me luck people, especially for the Scan! i'm pretty scared...

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