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Tuesday, May 16, 2006  

Tuesday 16 May 2006


i've planned it well, and it really happened.




i slapped Faizal and threw a soya bean drink at his face during recess time.


he wasn't satisfied. he was angry. he then came into my classroom, shouting at the top of his lungs at me. he even pulled the sleeve of my blouse. i shouted back at him. i had never shout at him coz i respected him.


he was way too much. he jatuhkan my reputation. my classmates and everybody who were walking past my class saw the drama between us with their mouth opened. everyone was curious, i know.


i slapped him. twice. and they were hard.


we walked away and i cried. i didn't mean to hurt him. i never meant to slap him in the first place but he was just too much. i couldn't do anything but to slap him and embarrass him in front of everyone, especially my classmates.






i know people were curious why i did that. well, it was all because of betrayal.


he betrayed me. i found out the truth. nothing but the truth about my so-called bestfriends and him playing Truth Or Dare last three weeks. they were dared to kiss and hug each other. and you know, Faizal and me was on a promise that we would be faithful to each other till the day we'd get back together. but this was what he did to me. he betrayed me. he kissed and hugged my own goddamn bestfriends. or maybe the opposite way.






and oh, my so-called bestfriends.


they knew how much i loved my ex-boyfriend, and this was what they did to me. they had never appreciated me being their friend at all. i've sacrificed so much for them and these were what i got in return; being betrayed.


take Anisah for an example. she stepped onto a glass piece last few months. i was the one who brought her to clinic and paid her medical bill yet she never appreciated me. then, she had some friends who didn't like her yet i just ignored whatever they said and still be her own good friend.
(i'm not mengunkit kisah lalu but i just wanna tell you guys how much i've sacrificed for my own good friends and the way i got in return from them)


and Shaqilah. i've been friends with her since we were in primary schools. i had helped her alot, and she too, had helped me alot. we've been very good friends last year and the beginning of this year. but not now. she is just an egoistic friend who is very selfish. i knew her very dark secret but i would never going to reveal it coz i wanna keep her reputation. i hate to do evil things to my own friends. she also knew how much i loved and missed Faizal yet she betrayed me.




is this what you called friends? bestfriends, huh? what are friends are for? betraying?



i can never forgive them for what they have done to me till the day i'd die.










now, i know who are really my true friends. it's Syahirah etcetra.


i know, i used to discriminate Syahirah but that was in the past. now i've apologized to her and we're bestfriends back. i love her more than anything. she's one hell of a great bestfriend. she's really understanding and we always share lots of similarities, especially about parents! haha.



and to those who are being nice to me; Fadaria, Huda, Shabana, Hazilah, Mai, Shamsiah and my dear classmates, thanks alot for being my friend and supporting me! i love you guys!


and yes yes yes, my dear SHANIFAZYAN!!!!!!!!!! i love youuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!! especially Azyan dear!




you guys rock my world! hugs and kisses.
















okay. so now, life has to move on. i won't going to wait for Faizal anymore. not after he betrayed me and the stuff that i heard about what he said about me. i won't going to love a betrayer.


i shall forget Faizal and his stupid sweet love. i'm going to move on with my life. i'm going to start a new life all over again with the people i love. and.... i'm going to have a new boyfriend who actually really loves and cares for me!!!!























oh, have i mention that i need a new boyfriend? well, haha.
























live life to the fullest.










P.S. i miss you Sharifah Raihanah and Afifah and AZYAN!!!!!!!!!





the friends that i shall leave behind.





Jika by Melly Goeslaw & Ari Lasso


Jika teringat tentang dikau
Jauh di mata dekat di hati
Sempat terpikir tuk kembali
Walau beda akan kujalani
Tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi


Jika teringat tentang dikau
Jauh di mata dekat di hati
Apakah sama yang kurasa
Ingin jumpa walau ada segan
Tak ada niat untuk berpisah denganmu


Jika memang masih bisa mulut ku berbicara
Santun kata yang ingin terucap
Kan ku dengar caci dan puji dirimu padaku
Kita masih muda dalam mencari keputusan
Maafkan daku ingin kembali
Seumpama ada jalan tuk kembali


Jika teringat tentang dikau
Jauh di mata dekat di hati
Tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi


Jika teringat tentang dikau
Jauh di mata dekat di hati
Tak ada niat untuk berpisah denganmu



 

a lie i didn't have to tell 5:12 PM

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